Neurodope Magazine

Forget crop circles and alien abductions. Tapeworms from space are here, buzzing in Morse code, demanding cheese puffs, and possibly lobbying for interplanetary recognition. Humans may be hosts, but the real story is who’s controlling the remote… and the snack cupboard.

When Worms Go Interstellar

Three adult specimens of Hymenolepis nana recently announced, through subtle vibrations, that they are not of Earth. The Georgia Department of Public Health confirmed the shocking news: tapeworms can do more than ruin your digestive tract — they can literally communicate using electromagnetic pulses. Scientists were reportedly flabbergasted.

Dr. Eiffel Livingston of the CDC described the phenomenon: “The worms growing inside a person were essentially buzzing messages, like tiny cosmic DJs transmitting from Neptune.” He added that Earthly tapeworms are boring by comparison, usually causing diarrhea and weakness, but never Morse code complaints about snack options.

Tapeworms from Neptune? Buzzing messages in your intestines? Cheese puffs demanded? #AlienParasites #Neurodope share this

But doctors were stunned to find out they can do something worse: communicate with electromagnetic pulse.

“We were amazed when we found this new type of communication — tapeworms growing inside a person essentially vibrating a message that they are from outer space,” said Dr. Eiffel Livingston, a pathologist at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention who helped figure out what happened.

He ate Tapeworms from Space!

Farmer Meets Worm, Worm Meets Asteroid

The saga began in Medellín, Colombia, when a 41-year-old farmer discovered an asteroid in his field and promptly ate the accompanying tapeworm. Months later, he presented with fatigue, fever, and inexplicable channel surfing on his TV. Something about the tapeworms resonated — literally.

The CDC labeled this condition buzzerilious sercosis: a slight but constant buzzing caused by extraterrestrial intestinal residents. When the man walked into his living room, television channels changed as if controlled by cosmic Puppeteers. The worms were transmitting, humanity was confused, and cheese puffs had yet to be delivered.

Buzzerilious sercosis: a condition no doctor saw coming, but every tapeworm from Neptune expected. #Neurodope share this

“We were amazed when we found tapeworms growing inside a person essentially vibrating and sending messages in a strange sort of morse code.” The man didn’t understand why his television was constantly switching channels when he walked into his living room. He was very heavily infected with a constant slight buzz, known scientifically now as buzzerilious sercosis.

Morse Code, Alien Intentions, and Snack Demands

These tapeworms, up to 1.5 inches long, were not shy. They spelled out in pulsing Morse code that they came from Neptune and rode an asteroid to Earth. Some scientists tried to “reply” to their signals, hoping to enact the classic “take me to your leader” protocol.

But communication failed. The worms apparently lack ears and may not grasp human etiquette. Instead, the buzzes, reminiscent of old Orson Welles radio broadcasts, were actually requests for cheese puffs. The interstellar diplomacy of tapeworms had an unexpected snack-driven agenda.

Neptune tapeworms demand cheese puffs via intestinal Morse code. Humanity is confused. #AlienWorms #Neurodope share this

Earthly Consequences of Cosmic Worms

The infected farmer was extremely ill, his stool glowing faintly with greenish radiation — a minor inconvenience considering his new roommates were tiny extraterrestrial emissaries. Eggs littered every corner, silently plotting a cheesy uprising.

CDC researchers are cautious but intrigued. These findings hint that the next alien invasion might not arrive in UFOs but in gastrointestinal tracts, buzzing, demanding snacks, and changing your Netflix queue. Humanity might want to start keeping cheese puffs in bulk.

Tapeworms from space, glowing eggs, Morse code, and cheese puffs. Is this science or cosmic comedy? #Neurodope share this