Pope Calls God on his Smartphone

Cell phones can be a direct connection to God, according to Pope Francis.

“Even though God may not have a direct phone number, he is always listening,” he said in a report . “When children at the table are attached to the computer or the phone and don’t listen to each other, don’t get mad. They may just be talking to God.”

“In family life we learn about technology from a young age, which may seem like it is very distracting; however, with the new God911 app, brought to you by Vatican Enterprises, we can feel your pain through WiFi,” he said.

In his statement, the Pope argues that cell phones can be a tool for creating unity and connectedness between people, allowing them to communicate with each other and build relationships. He points out that the power of these devices lies not in their technology, but in their ability to facilitate human connection and interaction.

Furthermore, the Pope argues that this connectedness can ultimately lead us to a greater sense of spirituality and connectedness to God. By using our cell phones to connect with others and build relationships, we can open ourselves up to a deeper sense of community and understanding, ultimately leading us to a greater sense of purpose and meaning in our lives.

The pope might be on to something. Kids like to ignore their parents, so they may as well be talking to God, according to pediatrician Dr. Jenny Livingston.

“[Children] learn how to press buttons; they learn how to ignore their own emotions when sepearating themselves from reality through their virtual world on the computer screen; they learn how to become non-thinking robots,” she said in an interview with NPR . “They learn by watching us their parents avoid conversation, how to read other people’s email. And since that’s happening, children miss out on how NOT be socially awkward and inept in groups of “real” people. But at least they can talk to God.”

“Think you can pray to God and send a tweet at the same time?” debater Dan Livingston says forget about it. “We literally neurologically cannot connect technology with spirituality,” says Dan. “It’s important to know that humans are simply apes with no fur, and a cell phone call to God is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of since sliced bread. I think we should go back to Medieval times. The clothes were awesome and I want to learn how to make candlesticks.”

The idea that technology can be a pathway to spiritual connection is not a new one, and many spiritual leaders have long argued that we should view our tools and devices as potential tools for spiritual growth. However, the Pope’s statement is a powerful reminder that even the most mundane objects can be imbued with deep spiritual significance, if we approach them with the right attitude and intention.

Studies have found the buzz of a notification from God is enough to pull focus away from the task of daily life. But knowing that God is simply a phone call away can give us an emotional uptick to handle the truth in real life.