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FDA Says Chemtrails Safe, Only Contains Vitamins..

chemtrails are vitamins FDA

In a bombshell news release today (this one) a confirmation by researchers of the United States Federal Drug Administration that the Striped Skies we are seeing above, are in fact Geo-Engineering Aerosols laced with vitamins!

“After all, the government knows what’s best for it’s citizens” said one bureaucrat who asked to remain anonymous. “Secret atmospheric tests have been successfully executed for decades in this country, and we are not about to stop our selfish egomaniacal ways..”

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Citizens are being advised by the FDA to go outside and breathe deeply for the best results:

“The heavy metals are best consumed with deep breaths, following the consumption of at least 3-4 glasses of fluoridated tap water.”

Chemtrail Vitamins derived from Sheep DNA

sheepWhat geniuses at the lab! How thankful we must be to have scientists so intelligent and caring enough, to journey to the edges of technology, that we have people employed by the government with such forethought: if GMO’s work for food, they might work for people, too!

“If we can turn humans into sheep, we just might be able to get rich with the new Carbon Credit economy.” said a group of Ivy Leaguers at the annual Al Gore Silver Spoon Awards event that took place recently in New York.

Neurodope.com is excited to learn of this new government initiative: Putting Vitamins in Chemtrails… and will be following the news story closely!

THE PRECEDING ARTICLE IS SARCASM AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.